It’s been awhile since I blogged. I meant to do it regularly, but the demands of working in the arts full-time mean I’m often too tired. Anyway, as a new year begins, I look back on where I’ve come and where I seem to be going. I tend to do a low grade whine about the amount of work it takes to keep afloat, but when I really analyze my situation, I come back to a sense of gratitude.
I’m grateful that, although it took me a long time, I did manage to find my niche in the world. I never really felt like I morphed into a grown-up with a grown-up career. I could never think of anything that I wanted to commit to and develop as a statement of what was important to do with my life. I always tried to do a good job, but it was just a job.
Now I’m doing what feels like a life mission. I’m meeting and befriending other people in the arts, and people who appreciate the arts, which is a wonderful group of people. Artists tend to be intelligent, caring and, well, quite different from “normal” people, and I feel like I fit in. I never really felt that way most of my adult life. The creative talent and need to “make”, no matter the obstacles, makes me admire these people, and aspire to deserve to belong to their clan.
I am so grateful to the people who like my work enough to acquire it. They make it possible for me to sustain my dream. To touch someone on an emotional level with an object that I have created is an amazing feeling. I still am filled with doubt and cast a judgmental eye on what I make, but with every passing year I confess I feel a little better about what the end result is. Being careful with my lifestyle and expenditures, it feels like I’ve gotten to a place where I can sustain myself on the income of a working artist and not feel deprived, maybe even feel enriched. Success is not a dollar figure, it’s about the quality of one’s life, and what you do with the time you’re allotted.